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Friday, December 08, 2006

...one day I leave you, a phantom to lead you in the summer, to join the BLACK PARADE...


It's been a year. A whole, long year, since it all began. The day that my life changed completly.







Over a year of laughter and tears, I've learned so much. I learned that everything has beauty, and it takes a bit of searching to find that beauty. I learned that there are no rules when it comes to love and that if you don't try you won't know. I learned that you can't fall out of love and you can't make yourself fall in love. I learned that not everything is as it appears to the outside world and that people change. Most of all, I learned that no matter how hard you try, nothing lasts forever.

And it's kind of sad, but I still do think about you everyday. It probably doesn't help that our pictures are still stashed away in my closet... but see unlike you I don't want to forget about us...and maybe that's my problem...

Exactly a year ago, a little 13 year old girl was falling asleep with a smile on her face as she dreamed about a boy who had swept her off her feet after their first date. I wish I could warn you what lies ahead. I wish I could stop you from getting your heart shattered into a million pieces. But I know I can't, and that it's already too late. You've already fallen for him.

Oh my god, our song just came on over the TV...

and sooner or later it's over
I just want you to know who I am...

What are you doing right now, I can't help but wonder...do you even know what today is? Do you even care? I doubt it. Crazy thing is, I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you, coz I don't want to keep trying to make you believe that I don't miss your smile.

People must think I'm over you. I've pretended for so long that I am, and that I don't have anymore feelings left for you. But I guess only I know the truth, don't I?

Babe, that scar you left on my heart will never fade xx

You said you would never hurt me....

You fucking lied

xxxx Ash xxxx


9:31 AM


'Cause I don't wanna feel alone

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

...but if you look twice you can see it's all LIES...

So...exams are through...now I just have to wait for my final results that will come through on Monday. I received all my exam results, except Afrikaans. My teacher had shingles. So, ahem, yeah, couldn't get my result, her being highly contagious and all. 0_0.

A.J and me at the St David's fireworks. Hehe, A.Js a fly-lady.


I uploaded a Harry and Hermione viddie on youtube. Yeah yeah, I know there are thousands, but I coudn't resist trying...you can view it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG2VbOYHIUU

I had a strange thing happen today. I was looking at the yearbook, just looking, y'know, when all of a sudden I saw Michael. I dunno what happened, but I felt like my head had just exploded. Like a shockwave had passed through me. It's so pathetic, I know. I should have gotten over this months ago. But I haven't. I still felt those feelings I've supressed for so long. I still felt like I wanted to cry and cry until I died. I guess it was my heart breaking all over again.

I think about what you did
and I hope to God she was worth it.

xx
Ash


9:28 AM


'Cause I don't wanna feel alone