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Friday, December 08, 2006

...one day I leave you, a phantom to lead you in the summer, to join the BLACK PARADE...

It's been a year. A whole, long year, since it all began. The day that my life changed completly.

Over a year of laughter and tears, I've learned so much. I learned that everything has beauty, and it takes a bit of searching to find that beauty. I learned that there are no rules when it comes to love and that if you don't try you won't know. I learned that you can't fall out of love and you can't make yourself fall in love. I learned that not everything is as it appears to the outside world and that people change. Most of all, I learned that no matter how hard you try, nothing lasts forever.

And it's kind of sad, but I still do think about you everyday. It probably doesn't help that our pictures are still stashed away in my closet... but see unlike you I don't want to forget about us...and maybe that's my problem...

Exactly a year ago, a little 13 year old girl was falling asleep with a smile on her face as she dreamed about a boy who had swept her off her feet after their first date. I wish I could warn you what lies ahead. I wish I could stop you from getting your heart shattered into a million pieces. But I know I can't, and that it's already too late. You've already fallen for him.

Oh my god, our song just came on over the TV...

and sooner or later it's over
I just want you to know who I am...

What are you doing right now, I can't help but wonder...do you even know what today is? Do you even care? I doubt it. Crazy thing is, I don't want to see you. I don't want to talk to you, coz I don't want to keep trying to make you believe that I don't miss your smile.

People must think I'm over you. I've pretended for so long that I am, and that I don't have anymore feelings left for you. But I guess only I know the truth, don't I?

Babe, that scar you left on my heart will never fade xx

You said you would never hurt me....

You fucking lied

xxxx Ash xxxx

9:31 AM

'Cause I don't wanna feel alone

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

...but if you look twice you can see it's all LIES...

So...exams are through...now I just have to wait for my final results that will come through on Monday. I received all my exam results, except Afrikaans. My teacher had shingles. So, ahem, yeah, couldn't get my result, her being highly contagious and all. 0_0.

A.J and me at the St David's fireworks. Hehe, A.Js a fly-lady.

I uploaded a Harry and Hermione viddie on youtube. Yeah yeah, I know there are thousands, but I coudn't resist trying...you can view it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UG2VbOYHIUU

I had a strange thing happen today. I was looking at the yearbook, just looking, y'know, when all of a sudden I saw Michael. I dunno what happened, but I felt like my head had just exploded. Like a shockwave had passed through me. It's so pathetic, I know. I should have gotten over this months ago. But I haven't. I still felt those feelings I've supressed for so long. I still felt like I wanted to cry and cry until I died. I guess it was my heart breaking all over again.

I think about what you did
and I hope to God she was worth it.


9:28 AM

'Cause I don't wanna feel alone

Saturday, October 21, 2006

...but we're never gonna survive unless we get a little CRAZY...

King David's social really, really blew. I guess it might have been better if, oh, I dunno, me and Lara weren't the only Saints people there!!

Exams are so close. And I haven't even started learning. So yeah, I guess for the next two months my social life will be, hmm, whats the word, non-fucking-existant.

maybe my heart didnt really skip a beat

& maybe the twinkle in my eye was just the reflection of the sun.
& maybe that feeling in my stomach was just not having enough for breakfast.
& maybe i just thought it was love.

I wish, oh god I wish, that someone will make me forget that smile.

xXx Ash XxX

10:31 AM

'Cause I don't wanna feel alone

Saturday, October 07, 2006

..i'd SING to you just one more time...

Guess what moi did? She cut her hair. Mhhmmhh it looks sooo sexy. I was totally sick of my even length, long hair. So, ya, now it's about a medium cut with layers. I'll post a picture at a later stage...if I feel like it -_-.

Saw The Devil Wears Prada today. Absolutely bloody effing brilliant. The guys I saw in the cinema didn't look too enthralled. They were all dragged there by their girlfriends. Haha. Sucks to be them.

Shit happens.
So you get thrown down on the ground.
You don't just lay there
You pick yourself the fuck up
and you deal.

St. Johns fireworks owned. The end.

xXx Ash XxX

7:59 AM

'Cause I don't wanna feel alone

Sunday, October 01, 2006

.. love isn't always ON TIME ..

Revamp! Whoohoo, oh yeah, rock on...ok, shutup xP

*hem hem*. Soo, we had our business games this week. YAAAYnot. My whole body is in complete agony from carrying those stupid fudge boxes all over the bloody school. -_-.

During school we were discussing how students can bully teachers. When I asked "Well, our one teacher threw shoes at us, isn't that bullying on the teachers behalf?" my teacher told me I was being ridiculous. Hmph, well, she didn't have to deal with dodging that crazy old bat of a music teacher's smelly platforms...

Finally, a Trinity House social pic...

Lara, moi n Amy (my tounges out AAAK how gross)

...I'm so lonely...all on my owney...sigh...

Maybe it sounds pathetic to say it...but, god, do I wish I had someone to be with right now...no names mentioned...

& she wants to be that girl,

he is scared to lose...

XxX Ash xXx

7:54 AM

'Cause I don't wanna feel alone